Menopause is one of life’s most celebrated gifts to womankind says Farida Dariwala
We all have hormones in our bodies from the moment we are born, till the day we die. But women constantly experience changes in hormones time and again in their lives. They go through puberty, monthly cycle, maternity, and then menopause a.k.a Hot Years. A lot of women prefer not to talk about menopause symptoms. They struggle in silence.
Farida Dariwala is not one of those women. She loves being a diva one moment and breathing fire the next. A therapist, coach, and teacher, Farida wears many hats. She spoke to Story of Fitness about the impact of the menopause in all areas of her life.
This is her story…
“Menopause., …..just like the ‘full stop’ for some and then a ‘comma’ for many. Of all the taboos we know of in the world, Menopause is considered as one of the most abusive words. It is also used in a very derogatory way and thrown at women as though we have committed some crime. Our many sisters out there hide their crowning glories. They carry the feeling of shame just by the thought of entering menopause – one of life’s most celebrated gifts to womankind.
When Bloody Mary stopped showing up
The first time I ever uttered the word to myself was only when I stumbled upon my fears of telling myself that – it’s time. The concept of menopause was like that analogy – ‘Not happening to me baby, it is happening somewhere out there’. Until Miss Bloody Mary stopped showing up. Really, how is it even possible that something I got tired of month on month was suddenly missing in action. Few months passed by, ‘Farida, she is hiding something from you, said my inner self. Could I be pregnant? Naaaaaaah. Hell broke loose. I ran to my nearest chemist to get a pregnancy kit, hands trembling in fear – what if? I can’t even begin to tell you the relief on seeing the test clear. So, then what is it? See, can you even begin to fathom the level of ignorance, denial, whatever you may call it.
Wait…………..is it something that’s called menopause. Time stopped. I was staring at a blank wall NOT knowing what do I FEEL now or rather how do I need to feel now. Do I need to take this state of being to a doctor or where, pray tell me please. I like to dramatize things a bit at times. So yes – I sat staring at the wall, probably singing some sad songs too. But discussion about it – Naaah, never. Months passed by, no sign of the red river.
“I began resembling a water balloon”
My body began to throw signs and water retention showed up. I began resembling a water balloon and immediately started at the emotional cause of it. Being a therapist my training includes looking at the emotional cause for things that show up in my field. Here it was physical. This gradually led me to get a nutritionist on board to help me figure what’s missing in the nutrition space, still no discussion about the menopause with any friend or family. I chose NOT to google symptoms. What will happen to my body when my periods stopped etc? I chose to refrain myself from fear based concepts.
The retention subsided. Food change worked along with my innate sense in picking up food my body loved – the need to consume lots of sweets and spice. I allowed it knowing fully that it surely was compensating for some emotional change within. And whilst the happy in me began celebrating the thought ‘Yayyy, I burst the water balloon, guess what?
The OWL in me with a FIRE DRAGON in tow swoon in just like a scene from the movie Harry Potter. My sleep had begun playing hide and seek, my body – on fire. As much as I loved being called ‘Hawwwt, Bomb’ etc., this time tch tch tch. Just so you know it’s real time as this article goes to print. Never in my life I imagined that someone like me who is in love with her sleep, could stay awake endless nights.
“Are you like on a menopause or something?”
NOW – the beauty in all of this is, hot years shifted my energy levels, along with my perception of life and the way I live. Not surprisingly then the inevitable happened – I get a client who expresses her deep sadness about how she feels about menopause and inexplicable pain when her son threw it at her face ‘Are you like on a menopause or something – jeez, why so tetchy’? Her tears washed away my pain and gave me the courage to talk about it to my husband who was completely oblivious to the world of menopause. Nevertheless, I went ahead and wrote a post and made it public, that liberated me and how.
Positives of the Hot Years of Menopause
The woman in me rose to the occasion – the invisible in me chose visibility. That came in the form of me saying goodbye to over two decades of a beautiful corporate job and embrace my fullness as a Therapist, Coach, Teacher, Psychic Medium, A Channel and a Bringer of New Age, something I had been practicing for long yet didn’t embrace it full time. As I did this more of what I am began to reveal itself. It’s like I permitted myself to make love to every cell of my body: the ones that may not have felt seen, heard, appreciated before.
You know even my walk changed, like a lightness of being. I noticed that my ability to take risks had heightened. And herein lies the salvation for so many of us – being fearless. The inner critic had weakened and body adoration amped up. ‘Rest’ which was such an alien thought for me – came so easy. I slept when wanted to, woke up when I felt like, that need for control is passé.
I feel so much more of a woman, loving sexy and in command, who is being nourished and nurtured by her blood – those drops that bled month on month are finally returning home, WITHIN.
“Menopause is a very powerful space and time”
Our divine feminine body, this queen is more ready now than ever to sit on that throne. I am looking forward to enjoy my sexuality and sensuality – it is a very powerful space and time. We own this – our bodies ARE designed to support us relentlessly in every stage of our lives. And, you know what, it is alright if others are not aware or fail to live up to our expectations when it comes to them being sensitive to its ever growing changes. This should not stop us from making love to the home that we live in.
Do not isolate yourselves
Allow the transformation of the hot years of menopause to take place with ease. Do not isolate yourselves and more importantly speak about it with courage. Yes I do know that discussing this openly may not be possible for many of us. But am sure you can at least talk to yourselves (it’s fun – I do that often) or someone you feel would be open to listening – you have my ears, embrace these powerful years.
I AM, with you!
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Get to know Farida:
Farida Dariwala is a Therapist, Coach, Teacher, Psychic Medium, A Channel and a Bringer of New Age who has extensively worked with children, parents, professionals, individuals, artists, creative minds, couples, corporates, organizations, freelancers, teachers, mental health professions, social sector professionals, souls who are seeking on their path, students who are on their journey towards evolution, mothers who are on their journey’s to birth a new soul. She helps first time parents to go through the sacred journey of birthing together. With her expertise in corporate sector, Farida is involved in media production, creative collaborations and event management bringing a wholistic touch towards the work.